The top 5 traits to recognize financial abuse in your relationship
Jul 16, 2024
Both men and women are equally the victim of financial abuse in the context of family violence. It is more evident among professional couples with high income.
I see this all the time with my clients, there are warning signs to recognize financial abuse in any relationship but often people are in so much pain
and ashamed of being a victim that they rather to live in denial.
Below are the the top 5 traits to recognize financial abuse:
- Forced career choice
- Not allowing partner to open a personal bank account
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Record of every money spent disguised as budget monitoring
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Purchasing assets in one name only
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Sending money overseas for retirement planning
1 - Forced Career choice
Women are the typical victim of this abuse as their professional life gets pushed aside by becoming a mother and often it is an added extra pressure to get a more flexible job which will allows her to take a time off to look after her child, for example a professional journalist was forced by her husband to become a freelancer so she can stop traveling and be with family.
The 3 ways you can change this situation are:
- Stop thinking like a victim.
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Be honest with yourself, If you are serious about your job and have a passion for what you do you could make your work around your family time, there is a new shift of family work ethics happening so let’s embrace it.
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Don’t stop your work to make someone else happy otherwise you will resent them forever, put yourself first.
Remember always follow your instincts but be open to a short setbacks.
“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools” - Ernest Hemingway.
2 - Not allowing partner to open a personal bank account
You will be surprised the numbers of women who don’t even have a bank account and this is the main reason why it is become compulsory for women who is applying for welfare to nominate a bank account in their name!
Three important reasons for women to overcome this:
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Women who do not have a personal income need to start saving from their pocket money to be able to survive if they have to leave. Court process can take months before you can have a normal life again.
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If you don’t have bank account basically you do not exist!
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Having a bank account is having an identity, do not let anyone robs your identity.
“Social security, bank account and credit card numbers are not just data. In the wrong hands they can wipe out someone’s life savings, wreck their credit and cause financial ruin” - Melissa Bean.
3 - Record of every money spent disguised as budget monitoring
I am a big advocate for budgeting I offered a free guide to budgeting in my other books (How to save money when there is no money) but I have seen it many times one partner becomes so controlling to where the money for grocery was spent to the degree of requesting receipt for even an ice-cream from MacDonald!
How you can shift this situations:
- Start learning to budget.
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Money is the power, most likely your partner wants to control you.
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Being a housewife is not an excuse for letting be controlled.
Remember
“Financial freedom is available to those wholearn about it and work for it” - Robert Kiyosaki
4 - Purchasing assets in one name only
This strategy was created in a principle as the level of home ownership can determine level of tax claim for investment purpose so as the complication of future capital gains tax but I have seen clients who buy only in their name as their partner is not working, do you know if there is no proper will in place the property will go to the estate rather than to partner if their name is not in the house.
What you need to know:
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You don’t need to have a job to be part of a loan and a house transaction with your partner.
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Learn the legal impacts of ways you can buy with your partner (joint tenancy or tenant in common).
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If your name is not in a property you can still be a guarantor in the loan.
5 - Sending money overseas for retirement planning
This becomes more common these days and very alarming even for government as to people take money from the country to invest in their origin country in the name of retirement planning, make sure you are aware:
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If your partner is taking the hard money earned and saved here to another country make sure it is in both names.
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Be realistic, imagine getting old and about to retire and realize there is no money to live on and legally you don’t have ownership to assetoverseas!
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Keep a record and document every suspicious transaction.
Financial literacy is the key to financial success. Everyone has a right to understand financial terms in simple language.
You can learn about savings and property myths in below e-books from the same Author:
